This girl is more easily done than said...
Small penises have feelings too.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize