I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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