would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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