Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
