So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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