This is not my ceiling
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
vagina is talking i cant
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize