"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
