If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
