The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
