You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
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my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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