I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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