I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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