That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
