i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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