So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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