Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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