Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
