what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
