he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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