Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
