I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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