I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
worst night to have a conscience
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
