i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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