maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We got so high we made milksteak
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
