Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
