Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
