do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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