What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.