you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
