my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.