Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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  (716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (856)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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  (310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359
  Replies (18) Good night (742) Bad night (4502)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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  (732): i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed http://tfl.nu/l1mh
  Replies (17) Good night (1143) Bad night (3557)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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  (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!' http://tfl.nu/lcp1
  Replies (14) Good night (5007) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6868) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?

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  (919): When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate? http://tfl.nu/ayxt
  Replies (24) Good night (831) Bad night (2886)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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  (937): pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point... http://tfl.nu/zj6y
  Replies (17) Good night (8644) Bad night (1252)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

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  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6668) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.

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  (205): I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom. http://tfl.nu/673j
  Replies (9) Good night (855) Bad night (4562)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  2.5

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  (740): How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement? (1-740): 2.5 http://tfl.nu/yjjp
  Replies (7) Good night (4541) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.

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  (608): hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink. http://tfl.nu/2o9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1247) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.

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  (910): He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening. http://tfl.nu/sddk
  Replies (5) Good night (1341) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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  (419): How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter? http://tfl.nu/8q8x
  Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.

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  (410): Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body. http://tfl.nu/22zp
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.

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  (714): That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me. http://tfl.nu/ou1n
  Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (994)

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