and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.