Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
