After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home