she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize