Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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