If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
