Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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