I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
