I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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