Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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