where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
