I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize