Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
