Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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