you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize