Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
