Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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