the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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