Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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