I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
