he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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