its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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