Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
