you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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