Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize