The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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