i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
