WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
try to milk me bitch
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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