the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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