absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
