Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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