went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize