he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
