Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
