A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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