I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
