but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
