just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
