dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
