no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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