I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
