Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
